Julie’s Ideas Blog 24: Organisational Stroking Patterns

In Hay (1993) I had presented several ideas at the ITAA Conference in Minneapolis, including some prompts for analysing the stroking patterns within an organisation.  In Hay (1996) I expanded some of this – below is the combination of the two publications with some more recent additions made when I have been running workshops.

The following can also be applied without using TA jargon if you wish, by simply renaming it a recognition pattern.  In that case, change all the reference to strokes in the following list of questions.

How do people regarded as successful behave and how do they get stroked?
How do people regarded as unsuccessful behave and how do they get stroked?

These two questions give you information about the major stroking patterns, both positive and negative.  Remember what you stroke is what you get, so the negative strokes usually given to poor performers generally tend to reinforce the very behaviour they are intended to stop.

How do people regarded as average performers behave and how do they get stroked?

Often the answer here is that average performers get very few strokes – they are taken for granted.  This reinforces their ‘average-ness’.  In a normal group the average performers are also the largest proportion, which means that the majority of employees are being ignored!

Are different strokes applied to different groups?

For example, to women/men, to professionals/non professionals, to specific departments or functions, to different ethnic groups, to trade union members/non members, different age groups, different educational backgrounds?

Are particular styles stroked differently?

Use any model of styles here, so TA frameworks such as working styles/drivers or ego states, or non-TA models such as Myers Briggs, Enneagram, or any other personality framework.

For example (ego state behaviours): What happens to people who are:
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logical?   firm?   caring?   friendly?   courteous?   creative
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Or consider working styles/drivers: Does the organisation reinforce:
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Hurry Up?   Be Perfect?   Please People?   Try Hard?   Be Strong?
​

What strokes are given at key change points?

For example, joining the organisation, transferring, getting promoted, getting demoted, being made redundant, retiring, leaving the organisation?

If people were to be given a gold watch on leaving, what might the inscription say?
What stroking systems exist within the organisation?

Such as suggestion schemes, quality circles, staff appraisals, educational sponsorship, training and development activities, employee assistance programmes, mentoring schemes, interview after ill health absence?

How do people spend their time?

Consider the different intensities of stroking related to the ways of structuring time – no strokes when alone, low intensity from greeting rituals, a bit more during past-timing, more intensity during working or playing (Cowles-Boyd & Boyd’s 1980 extension of Berne’s 1961 goal directed activities).

Is the nature of the work such that closeness/intimacy is appropriate (e.g. life threatening situations) or is it enough that employees work and play well together?  How much are people engaging in psychological games to get intense negative strokes?

To add a significant NLP dimension to this analysis, consider the following:

How are the strokes conveyed?

Visual – e.g. awards or congratulatory letters displayed on notice boards or social media; gifts given at ceremonies so that others observe; spoken with positive facial expressions and gestures – or being expected to work in windowless offices; being scowled at; being dismissed and having everyone watch you clear your desk and leave the building?

Auditory – e.g. personal comments made face to face; at ceremonies with speeches that are heard by an audience; with positive tone of voice – or verbally with anger or coldly; being shouted at, especially in front of others; over the telephone with no real contact?

Kinaesthetic – e.g. handshakes, pats on the back or hugs (provided people find this contact acceptable); certificates printed on paper that feels good to handle; gifts that feel good or can be worn (or eaten or drunk) – or though inappropriate touch; being expected to function with poorly designed equipment, uncomfortable uniforms; through long hours that lead to stress and ill health.

If you are using this framework to consider your own organisation, you might also review how well the organisation stroking patterns fit your own preferences.

What proportion of your strokes come:

​At work​

From family
From friends
Through hobbies

Through spiritual or religious activities
Volunteer activities
Other

​Are you satisfied with the balance between the sources of strokes?

​For the strokes at work, how many come from:
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Colleagues
Management
Customers

Suppliers
Subordinates
Other

​How well do the organisational stroking patterns match your individual stroke preferences?
​
How might you change your stroking sources to reinforce your positive attributes more?
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​References

Berne, Eric (1961) Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy New York: Grove Press

Cowles-Boyd, Laura & Boyd, Harry (1980) Play as a Time Structure Transactional Analysis Journal 10:1 5-7

Hay, Julie (1993) Successful Workaholism  The Minneapolis Papers ed. N .James Minneapolis: Omnipress  139-144
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Hay, Julie (1996) Stroking Patterns INTAND Newsletter 4:3 1-2
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© 2018 Julie Hay​
 
​Julie is a fan of open access publishing so feel free to reproduce any of these blogs as long as you still attribute it to her.

If you’re interested in learning more TA, Julie runs regular workshops and webinars –  we currently have an offer of a free place on one of our webinars. You can use these toward your CPD and as credit hours in pursuing professional TA qualification